Hello there, I’m not the ghoster, I’m the ghoster’s roommate,’ I’m not the ghoster, I’m the ghoster’s advisor, I’m not the ghoster, I’m the ghoster’s gist partner, hey guys, I’m the ghoster, yayyyyyy!!!!
The term ‘ghosting’ is a well-known dating and social term in recent years among the Gen Zs and the millennials alike.
It refers to the practice of suddenly and abruptly cutting off all communication with someone, typically in the context of a romantic or interpersonal relationship.
Whether it’s a girlfriend who has gone radio silent on you after a few dates or a new connection who suddenly stops responding to texts after a bubbly talking stage or a recruiter who just went poof on you like you never had any interactions. All these disappearing acts carry the label ‘ghosting.’ And yes, you ‘ve just been ghosted. The term can also pass for ‘icing’ or ‘simmering.’
Although ghosting is often associated with romantic relationships, it is not only restricted to the dating scene. You can also get iced or ghosted by friends, family and co-workers. In the department of ghosting, you’re either the ghoster or the ghostee. But, in recent years, it has come to light that you can be both. And most of the time if not all the time, the ‘ghostee’ is usually the one on the receiving end.
In today’s society, ghosting has become a more acceptable form of communication. It’s no big deal. To the Gen Zs, this method of communication is better than indulging in uncomfortable conversations. It’s subtle and we expect the other person to take the hints. We believe we could just pull the disappearing act on people simply because we owe them nothing. it’s all good. You may not owe them anything but you sure do owe them the love, warmth, time, support and memories built together. As short span as the relationship or interaction may be, it does not make it less a relationship. Time was spent and that was some priceless time of their lives they cannot get back.
As prevalent as this disappearing act is, it hits humans at the most vulnerable weak spots leaving a profound impact on a person’s mental health. It may seem polished and harmless. But, it is harm itself. It messes with the individual’s cerebral matter a whole lot. People who have once experienced ghosting reports that initially, they felt a wave of emotions from confusion to frustration, self-doubt, anger and sadness.
Then, their self-esteem deflated leaving them questioning their self-worth and afterwards, depression sets in. Ghosting is a big deal. I tell you. It’s not just cruel, it’s cowardly and immature.
Ghosting is the coward’s way out. And it says a whole lot about the ghoster rather than the ghosted. One would think that the bulk of Gen Zs should be able to have an honest and open conversation about whatever and address issues as they are. But, I see Gen Zs growing non-confrontational over time.
We would rather ignore and not have the uncomfortable conversation. It’s safer that way, yeah? But, the last time I checked ghosting was not part of healthy communication strategy.
Communication is to relationships as air is to the lungs. And being able to express yourself plain and simple in whatever relationships you find yourself (friendship, family, romantic and work-related) is putting your communication skill to good use. You want a pay raise at work? tell your boss about it. You don’t like the way your friend diss you in public? Talk about it. You feel like the relationship is going nowhere? Let it out instead of taking to ghosting. We know the truth hurts but the other person will appreciate your sincerity and won’t have to worry as to why you just went poof on them without explanation.
So, do ghosters know they ghosted you? Yes, they do. And if you went ahead to reach out and demand for explanation for closure and they still leave you on read, you know they’re not kidding. That’s how clever and indirect ghosting is.
They expected you to take the hints and move on. So, do that. Move on and live life. During no-contact, don’t make the mistake of proving to them their exit from your life didn’t stop shit. Most ghosters are hardly moved by this. So, prove you to you, let go and live life fully. You will be glad you did. So, what if a ghoster shows up? Should you take him or her back? Well, one thing you owe a ghoster is forgiveness. And it’s not just for the ghoster, but, also for you that you may heal completely. So, it’s simple.
Apology accepted, access denied. Thank you, next. And one of the rules I live by is, ‘if I had to heal from you, I’m not letting you back in my space’. And besides, I thought the ghoster passed away, so, why not respect the dead? Xoxo…
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